Follow Your Yellow Brick Road

I am a golfer. I am a golfer who is in competition with herself, ever striving to better her last score. I am a golfer who enjoys being in the outdoors, with the wind in her hair, the sun on her face, the green earth below and the blue sky above. Just as in other aspects of my life, I am trying to better myself, trying to be the best I can be, trying to find the joy in life and striving for the feeling of accomplishment. I am striving to follow my heart, finding joy at having fun in whatever I do and being thankful for each moment along the way. Forrest Gump’s mother said, “Life is a box of chocolates, and similarly, I am thinking, “Life is like a round of golf.”

A round of golf has twists and turns along the path. How I respond to each shot corresponds to how it will be approached at the next place on the fairway – or in the rough – wherever the ball should land. How I feel and think about my hit as I approach the ball for the next swing will affect how my next action will transpire. On and off the course, this is also true. I act and there are reactions, causes and effects. How I respond to each affects the next action and so on. As I take action throughout my life, I must respond in a way that affects positivity and change, change for the better. As I better my golf game of life, I better myself, which in turn, betters the world. I am a golfer.

I believe I can so I am halfway there.  I am halfway to all of the things I desire and I am happy today because I know they are to come. I believe in myself. I believe I can do anything. I believe this because I am deserving, I am worth it and I am there. I am living my life now as if I have all that I desire. I am listening to a mentor of mine, Rhys Thomas. I am living today as if all my desires have come true, have happened. I am following my my soul’s purpose because it is happening, one moment at a time. I am in belief.

According to the Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com), projection is “a way to blame others for your own negative thoughts by repressing them and then attributing them to someone else.”

Hm…so, I have a hard time getting to work on time. I am usually there on time, which really means late because I’m not ready to be productive at the ‘on time’ time. Today one of my students was waiting at my classroom door for me while I was waiting for her in the front office. After 5 minutes of talking to one of the secretaries, another teacher came in and said she thought she saw my student in the hallway waiting for me. I say, “Oh, okay, great. She usually meets me here.” Then I hear a voice from behind a computer screen say that the student went down to my room.

Hm….immediate projection! I think, ‘Why did that happen? I have always met her right here each morning. Why was the student allowed to be buzzed out of the office when no other students are allowed in the building at this time of day? Was that done on purpose because I am always late? A little passive-aggressive, I’d say!’

I huff and puff in my head as I walk down the hallway, soon realizing that I am making up an entire scenario inside my head as I project my negative feelings onto the voice behind the computer screen. I am late, that is what I am mad about. I have to get here earlier. That’s all there is to it. That’s an easy fix and something that will make me much happier. ME – making ME – much happier. Not anyone else, not anything else. I am projection.

Make YOURSELF happy today!

I am influenced by my surroundings.

Today I turned off my ‘early’ alarm. This alarm is the one I set to get up for my yoga and meditation. 4:45 – Turned it right off! (Second alarm is always set.) 6:00 – snooze, snooze and snooze and then off at 6:15…only because that is when my programmed snooze choice ends. Still sleeping until 6:40…I must be at work by 7:25. Up and at ’em I go, thankful for our dress down day at work – Unity (Anti-Bullying) Day – jeans, t-shirt (purchased by my principal) and my matching orange Converse All Stars!

I get to work exhausted, and I am greeted by my Morning Mindset crew – students who come in 15 minutes early to do some yoga and meditation with me to get ready for the school day! Boy did I need that today! These students are so happy and positive, ready for anything that happens. I am immediately excited and happy, singing and stretching along with them! Just like that, my exhaustion is gone and I’m ready for the day! Those students turned my frown upside down in a matter of seconds! Influenced by their energy and positive outlook on life reminded me that I am alive and am grateful to live in the moment!

As I am influenced by my environment, I am reminded that in a matter of seconds, I can make a change in my outlook. I was given a great gift this morning and will try to give that same gift to myself when these cherubs are not around!

I am influenced by my surroundings….for which I am always there, so can turn that influence inward! Perhaps I can even influence someone else’s outlook on a rainy Wednesday! Most importantly – me – and my influence on me will make all the difference in a day!

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

I love this quote! Since I began concentrating on changing my attitude about life almost two years ago…after hitting the wonderful age of 50, I realized I was often focused on the ‘closed doors’ the majority of my life. I am so grateful to have my eyes open and able to see the doors ahead of me. I’d always told my students over the past 29 years of teaching that teachers have eyes in the backs of their heads, but little did I know how much I was using mine outside of the classroom! I am enjoying this new “blog door” that I’ve opened! I wonder if anyone can relate to Helen Keller’s quote as well.

I am calm.

I am thankful to feel such calmness and am grateful for my desire to meditate each day. As I hold on to my yoga teacher’s words on the value of Sadhana, or daily yoga practice, I am fortunate to have incorporated this into my life. If I am unable to get my body out of bed in the morning, I will practice in the evening. Today was evening practice. Coming home after a busy day at school to spend time with myself in such a meaningful way absolutely softens the voices in my head, the beat in my heart, the breath in my lungs….and allows my soul to shine. I wish all of your souls to shine!

I am calm.

I am a mother. I am connected to my daughter – near or far.

Yesterday was the first birthday of my daughter Miranda’s that I did not spend with her. She did however, call me using video messaging, so I was able to see her beautiful face, smile and personality all the many miles away. It was great spending that part of her birthday with her. I know I am connected to her no matter how many miles separate us, but I was grateful to have that avenue to connect with her visually as well. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful relationship with such a beautiful soul. I have learned so much from her and continue to do so all the time. I am so proud to be her mother and so blessed that she was given to me. I couldn’t wait to speak to her on her birthday and can’t ever imagine not feeling that way.

I mentioned to friends last night that I didn’t even get a text from my mother on my birthday, a few days ago, nor have I heard from her since then. When does a mother stop wanting to be in touch with her daughter? I’m sure there’s a million and one different reasons why a mother pulls away from her child or children, but I just can’t ever imagine feeling that way about my daughter. I’m so grateful that my Grandma never pulled away from me. I know she was wishing me a happy birthday from heaven! I would’ve gotten a birthday card from her on my birthday if not before, if she was still on this earth!

I always feel the love of my daughter and my grandmother. I wonder what happened to the love from my mother. It may be there, but I don’t recognize it. I remember it when growing up, but since moving out on my own, it changed and then became nonexistent in physical form when I became a mother. Ah, that may be it, when I became a mother, did she decide that I no longer needed a mother?

Last week, my independent daughter was trying to solve a problem on her own when she called to ask for some assistance. I told her that not only did she make great decisions trying to solve the problem on her own, but it was just as great a decision to call when she needed help. She didn’t have to do everything on her own to be independent. Even when she is 35 and I’m 65, she can still call and ask for advice or help because I’ll always have 30 years of life experience to offer. To be independent is also to be connected.

I am a mother connected to her daughter.

A friend of mine shared this today and I can’t stop wanting to share it with everyone. I just love this song and think that it most likely resonates with every individual on the earth. I love how this beautiful light wrapped in a beautiful woman sings for us all. I hope you enjoy this as much I did and am!

I felt this way so deeply last Sunday after experiencing a wonderful weekend of growth and I was able to hold onto the feeling for a few more days, as I felt it subside as the rituals and routines of daily life crept back into my body and mind. I am still holding onto the belief that I am light and it makes me smile just saying it inside my head.  You are light and I hope that you are smiling now.

Smile. Shine. You are light. Share that light with the world.

Change

-adjustment     -advancement     -development     -revolution    -shift     -transformation

I am a pillar of change. So many changes, so many directions, so many times, so much growth. The synonym transformation resonates with me the most. I have transformed myself throughout my life as I have moved from state to state, changing my physical surroundings every couple of years or so. Now that I have stayed in the same environment for 12 years, I feel the change I am encountering is transformation – a change in my attitude and gratitude about my life. I am blessed in so many ways and am anxious to share these thoughts with others as I continue to grow.  I am change.

Which synonym of the word ‘change’ resonates with you and why?

I am writing…to write…to connect…to learn…to grow…to change.

I have been reflecting on my life and thinking about ways I can spend the next chapter of it. With my many changes, I have been evolving into a person with positive attitudes and growing gratitude. As I connect to others with an open heart, I find myself understanding more about the world and more about myself.

Hope you’ll join me in this adventure!